And now, I think, it begins.

Last night was excruciating. I'm trying to steel myself for tonight. It wasn't so bad before but, for whatever reason, it is now.

Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever felt the entire weight of your own consciousness turn into and upon itself? It is crushing. It is debilitating.

There is nothing I can do about it except wait it out.

Time, they say, heals all wounds. Time is the panacea for all ills such as these, such as mine.

I need a distraction. I need something someone to make me forget.

I need a lobotomy.

I need a hole in my head.





I disgust even myself sometimes. These times.